The Last Time
by Miss March Muffin
Summary: Suddenly, she finds them both stuck in this cycle of him leaving, and then coming back to her. That door opening and closing, and opening and closing, breaking and mending her heart just as many times. Tired and spent, Mikan had to draw the line somewhere…ONE-SHOT.


**The Last Time**

_by aniAngelxx_

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice. Nor do I own "The Last Time" by Taylor Swift and Gary Lightbody. But there, now you know where my inspiration came from :)

* * *

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It was raining cats and dogs. Mikan was curled up on the couch, feeling sick with worry. Okay, that made her sound like a mom.

"Stupid Natsume," She mumbled, wrapping her blanket more tightly around her. Try as she might to stay angry with him, she couldn't help feeling that niggle of worry that had her chewing on her thumbnail. On the table in front of her, she'd already set up the first aid kit and a thermos of tea.

He was out on another mission tonight, and as usual, she stayed up in his special star room (he'd given her a spare key since they were 12) to await his return. It's been this way for the past 6 years now; in just a few months they'd be graduating. Until then though, he was faced with danger and death nearly every night; and she was faced with possibilities of him never returning.

Tonight, along with the usual agony of waiting, was the extra pound of guilt and regret.

Yesterday they had another of their bigger, more serious fights, and had not made up before she found out he'd been assigned a mission. Faced with the possibility of never seeing him again, Mikan now felt like the most horrible human being ever. The fact that he had been the ultimate jerk for the past couple of days didn't seem like such a big deal now.

_"Why were you fighting with him?! He wasn't doing anything wrong!"_

_"What're you, blind?! The guy's obviously an asshole!"_

_"Since when did buying me a drink equate to being an asshole? Why don't you just admit that you were just jealous!"_

_"Jealous?! You think I was jealous?! Try maybe saving your idiotic butt from being taken advantage of." The way he sneered at her stung._

_"Oh, and beating the guy senseless was the way to do it? Ever heard of, I dunno, maybe TELLING ME INSTEAD?! Why is it that your default solution to everything always involves your fists and your alice?"_

_"What do you want from me, Polka?! I just told you I saved your ass, and this is what I get? Forget it, I'm out. Talk to me when you actually get a brain."_

_"Jerk! I hate you!"_

"Stupid Natsume," Mikan sniffed. A sob bubbled past her lips. "Stupid me."

She hadn't realized she'd fallen asleep like that until she sat up with a jerk. The room was dark, and the rain still beat against the windows. A glance at the clock told her it was 10 past 2 in the morning.

She looked at the door just as it swung open, and in came a soaked Natsume.

His clothes were soaked through, and torn and bloody in some places. His face was pale and his lips were starting to turn blue. Blood trickled from a cut on his temple, and a bruise was starting to darken on the corner of his lip. His entire demeanor screamed 'EXHAUSTED'. Her heart broke even more for him.

"Natsume," She whispered. He looked up at her, as if only noticing her then. Surprise flitted through his crimson eyes. She thought it was ridiculous of him to be surprised. He should know her better than that.

Before he could move, she'd thrown her arms around him, sobbing in relief.

"Stupid Natsume," she sobbed, "Making me worry like that."

And he wrapped his arms around her, just as tightly. He breathed her in, feeling at ease and whole.

"I'm sorry," He murmured into her hair.

"I-I w-was... so a-afraid," She hiccoughed. "Th-that the last thing… I'd say to you was that I-I… h-hated you,"

He shushed her, stroking her hair. "That won't ever happen, Mikan."

"Never?"

"Never." He kissed her forehead. "I love you," He whispered, trailing kisses down her nose, her cheeks, kissing away her tears.

Mikan sighed, meeting his lips with hers. "I love you, too."

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* * *

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"...I'm leaving." _You're not safe with me. I'll only put you in danger._

"Do you really have to go?" _Do you really believe that? I thought you wanted to protect me..._

"I need to." _By doing this, I am protecting you._

"I'll miss you," _But I want you here, with me! Please stay!_

"Me too,"_ I'm doing this to keep you safe. I love you._ "Stay safe."

She nodded, knowing she couldn't say anything to make him stay.

"Goodbye." _I love you too._

She was used to seeing his back. But it'd never hurt as much as it did now.

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* * *

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She tossed and turned on her bed. It was one of those nights again. She sat up in defeat, knowing sleep would never come now.

_This is what happens when you get used to being cuddled when you sleep._ Mikan thought dryly. She slipped on a robe over her thin night dress, deciding to sip on a cuppa to while away the night.

From the bar counter, she could see out her balcony which had a nice view of the Tokyo night lights. Six years out of the academy, and she's working at a preschool five blocks away, while part-timing in an alice coffee shop three blocks away. Against her wishes, Hotaru had been the one to purchase this (high-end) apartment for her in a rare bout of care and generosity.

"When I visit, I'd prefer not to be stuck in a cramped 8-tatami mat room. I want crab cakes ready any time, and a great view." She'd said. Mikan didn't doubt her best friend's financial capability - Hotaru Imai took the technological world by storm the moment she got out of the academy. It was more the fact that she wanted to actually earn her keep. But then Hotaru'd simply said, "You can pay me back by doing me favors when I ask for them."

Life had been okay, even though it's been four years without him. The only downside were the nights when she couldn't sleep - plagued with dreams of the past, thoughts of him…

On her third cup of coffee, she was startled by a knock on her door. _It's 3:30 am! Who on earth-_

Suddenly afraid with thoughts of robbers and thieves, she grabbed the Baka Gun (Hotaru'd given it to her for her 15th birthday) from her drawer. The sight that met her had her dropping said Baka Gun.

_Natsume._

He'd grown a few inches taller, making her feel so small next to him. His hair was still that same messy black, his jaw just a bit more defined. And his eyes - deep crimson wells that threatened to swallow her up. She was reminded of how handsome he really was. He was all hard muscles and sharp features. It was almost hard to believe she'd once been beside him and thought they fit perfectly. He was way out of her league, now more than ever. But still, here he was.

_You're here…_

You're back…

"...Natsume,"

She hadn't realized she'd spoken aloud, but as if the utterance of his name was his very undoing, he immediately engulfed her into his arms. Face burrowing into the crook of her neck, arms holding her tightly to him.

They never said anything that night; just stayed that way until the sun dawned on them. Her door opened and him holding her close.

.

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* * *

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Mikan was cloud watching. Spread eagle underneath the shade of the Sakura tree. _Their_ Sakura tree. Or at least, what used to be theirs. He was hardly ever there anymore enough to call it his. Actually, he barely ever came here ever since he came back two years ago.

They used to spend hours here, just him and her. Now it's just her. Guess that just made things official - there was no them anymore.

She watched as shades of orange, red and purple splayed out across the sky. A light, chilly breeze rustled the leaves, scattering sakura petals into the air.

Her left fist curled tighter around a letter. The other held her phone just as tightly.

_Should I…? He's probably with another girl again._ Mikan thought bitterly. Yet a small bubble of hope whispered into her ear. And she hated it. She's been let down one too many times; there shouldn't have been any hope left in her. But she wasn't your typical girl. She was the idiotic, naive, optimistic fool. Only for him.

This is so pathetic, she groaned. "You are a pathetic excuse for a human being, Mikan Sakura, that's what you are."

Biting her lip against another flood of tears, she took a deep breath. "Just this one call." She whispered to herself, dialing a number she knew by heart.

It rang once, twice.

She chewed on her bottom lip.

It rang once more, before it picked up. Her breath hitched as his deep voice filtered through.

"You know you have really impeccable timing, Polka," Wherever he was, Mikan could tell it was noisy and crowded.

She forced a laugh. "Why? On another date with an 'annoying blonde'?"

He snorted. "As if. Aoi dragged me off shopping; she was about to make me go in a boutique. _For the tenth time_."

"Poor you," Mikan chuckled.

"Hn." She could picture him clearly, rolling his eyes and snorting. "So what did you want?"

"Huh?"

"What did you want? Why'd you call?"

She sat up slowly, looking down at the letter clenched in her hand. "Why do I have to want something? Can't I call you for no reason at all?"

"You can," She smiled. "But you don't. So just spill, Polkadots." Pout.

"I…"

"Just spit it out." He growled impatiently.

She rolled her eyes. "Well...you know about that offer-"

_"Oh my gosh, Natsume is that you?"_

"Chiriko."

Mikan swallowed, pursing her lips as the woman on the other line practically set up a date for the day after tomorrow. This was really pathetic - how his voice alone could make or break her heart in a blink of an eye. Since when had she succumbed to his clutches so willingly? Since when had she completely surrendered to him? For god's sakes, they weren't even together anymore!

"Oi, Polka, still there?"

She cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah - yeah, still here." She forced a laugh. "Looks like you have a date again, huh? Gosh you're such a ladies man."

"Tch," He took a deep breath, "So, what was it you wanted?"

"Oh that," She winced at how fake her laugh sounded. She hoped he didn't notice. "It's nothing, forget about it. Just bring me my usual box of Howalons, okay? Please and thanks!"

She ended the call abruptly, just as her breath hitched. Quiet tears slipped past her lashes, and she smiled bitterly at the letter she held on her lap.

"I guess it's official then," She wiped her tears with finality, standing up with a stretch. "Here we go, Africa."

_Dear Ms. Sakura,_

_A good day to you!_

_We have received your resume, and found your credentials favorable for the job. The Child Care Project has already been approved by the authorities, and construction of the facilities have started last month. You, along with your co-instructors and some hired protection will be provided with the necessary accommodations near the facility, should you accept the offer. However, due to time constraints, the offer only stands until 5 days._

_Attached to this letter are flight accommodations scheduled on the 5th day, should you go through with this. Further agreements and conditions shall be discussed upon your arrival in Dakar, Senegal. We hope to see you there soon._

_Sincerely,_

_Roger Carter_

_African Alice Organization, Human Resources Division Head_

That was the last time. It was high time for her to get a move on.

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A/N. I have my fingers crossed. I _really _hope it wasn't too confusing at all. I tried to make the time skips not too confusing.  
Sorry it isn't really a happy ending…If I ever do get that inspiration back into my brain, I might follow it up. No promises though...

Anyway, please drop a review~! Tell me what you think, what I need to improve and all that jazz.


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